★★★★1/2

Review by Natalia Milne. Venue 302. Underbelly, Bristo Square – McEwan Hall

The premise of the show is that the whole performance will be based on a lost work of Jane Austen, the title of which comes from you, the audience. This part is presided over by a character called Dr. Sam Paton (world-renowned Jane Austen expert), who describes the author as the golden girl of Edinburgh who is credited with the invention of the Tunnock’s tea cake. After a few rejected suggestions (including Hate and Hospitality) the show finally has a name – The Hesitant Butcher. 

The story of the Hesitant Butcher is that he has been born into this role; part of a meat dynasty, if you will. He wants to please his father (“I want to be your meaty boy” he cries), but he is simply not the man for the job. Lucinda, Jane, and Mary are sisters who are also in the meat business. The conflict is that Lucinda has decided to become a vegetarian. The Hesitant Butcher and Lucinda team-up to save a cow called Caroline, and they hide her in the chapel. Sparks fly between them, but she reveals that she is unfortunately betrothed to the monstrous Lord Chop, whose love for meat runs so deep that his clothes are made of it. The climax takes place at the annual Butcher’s Ball/betrothal party. Lucinda serves all meat substitutes in order to prove a point to Lord Chop. This backfires and culminates in the Hesitant Butcher and Lucinda sharing a kiss.

I truly hope I haven’t lost you here. It sounds ridiculous (of course it is!), but I didn’t stop laughing once. The cast sells the plot perfectly, and the violinist uses music to build tension in a very funny way. One thing that works really well is that the cast will nod to the audience and bring them into the experience. They also laugh at any inconsistencies in plot, and point out any mistakes to try and catch each other out.  I think everyone can agree that bad improv makes for an extremely uncomfortable audience experience. When it is good—or in this case, brilliant!—my simple mind genuinely cannot fathom how it is done. It’s an excellent cast and team that bring it together. The magic of the concept is that every show will be different. So if you want to celebrate the lost works of Jane Austen, then THIS is the show for you!